Redneck Investin Part 1 – A look from the other side

While we often get caught up in discussions about QE and gold storage reports, it’s easy to forget the realities in life that most humans face on planet Earth. Let’s face it – you need spare money to invest. And not a few extra coins – you need real cash.

We get questions all the time from common folk who don’t know about investing. Not all are poor. One great example is a older trust fund baby with $100 Million in a Bank of America Savings account “Ain’t nobody touchin’ MY MONEY!” he’d say.

So, for all of you who are not qualfied investors – here’s your practical poor-man’s guide to investing. And it’s short – only 1 page! This is also a good read for those who want a different outlook, to understand a little about how ‘the other side’ lives.

Rule #1 – If you only have $1,000 to invest, the only reasonable investment is in CANNED FOOD which can be stored for up to 20 years. Because Food inflation, depending on how you calculate it, is about 10% – 20% per year or more. Certain food items can experience a permanent ‘adjustment’ of 50% – 100% for example due to weather factors or other circumstances. Where else can you get 20% per year returns nearly guaranteed? Plus, if the investment doesn’t work out or you get desperate, you can eat it. It’s a win-win. The best way to store this food is in large PVC pipes dug deep into the ground, the cans can be connected with duct tape and lowered into the pipes. When you need some money – just pull up your in ground savings account! It will be safe here from the IRS and from pesky hungry neighbors. No capital gains tax here.

Redneck Arbitrage Strategies

Coin Hoarding

A penny is worth more than a penny. Not only in the United States – in Russia too! Take this strategy international! In the US, it’s illegal to melt pennies. But that may not always be the case. And if you think this strategy is only for Rednecks, think again.

Kyle Bass is a Nickel Hoarder (but, he had to buy them from the Fed due to the large quantity):

At the time of the mega-purchase of 20 million circulated nickels in 2011, the coins contained 6.8 cents apiece in metallic value per planchet. Nickel and copper have dropped since that time, and the current melt price is just under face value according to the Coinflation web site. Since Bass paid face value for his nickel hoard, there was no downside risk. Obtaining such a vast amount of 5-cent pieces obviously requires more than ordering the coins through normal channels such as armored car companies. This multi-ton request had to be filled by the Federal Reserve. When the Fed asked Bass why he wanted a cool million in Jeffersons, he calmly replied “I like nickels.”

Postage Stamp Arbitrage

This is illegal and information about this strategy is provided only to demonstrate how ridiculous the financial system is, in its current state and form. FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY – DO NOT CONSIDER ACTUALLY DOING THIS!!! “Forever” stamps sell at current single stamp value of $.47; they were $.41 in April 2oo7; about a 12% increase. 12% you’re thinking – it’s nuthin. But it’s guaranteed! And people always need stamps. Checkout this site for historical stamp data:

April 10, 2016		$ 0.47
January 26, 2014:		$ 0.49
January 27, 2013:		$ 0.46
January 22, 2012:		$ 0.45
May 11, 2009:		$ 0.44
May 12, 2008:		$ 0.42
April 12, 2007:		$ 0.41

Although, investors here should note the value actually DROPPED in last 2 years. But this has been a historical anomaly.

Rule #2 – Keep a savings account in heavy metal stored in remote locations. Make regular ‘deposits’ to this account by spending an afternoon ‘scrapping’ – collecting unused metal garbage such as appliances, cars, metal frames, railroad tracks (abandoned, of course) and other metal objects. Don’t go near electrical wires! They are live and will shock you!

Free Money Claims

Cash in, on a class – action. Anyone is eligible to get a check. Did you smoke Marlboro cigarettes in the late 90’s while living in east Massachusetts? You may be eligible for a big reward. Did you purchase Tom’s Toothpaste in the last few years? Sites such as Free Money Claims list class actions that are open for joining.

Civil War Treasure Hunting

If you’ve got a lot of time, and if you’re poor or on the dole probably you do, and you like the outdoors, nuthin better than a good ol’ treasure hunt! Spend some time doing some research, get the gear – and go hunt! You’ve got nothing to lose. In the worst case, you spend a day or two hiking through the woods and get some good excercise. It’s out there:

..there are reports that there is a cache of Civil War-era valuables worth upwards of $350,000 buried deep in the woods of Fairfax County, Virginia.

If you think Redneck investin’ is a dead end- you haven’t been following CNBC. There’s billions in this budding domestic ’emerging market.’