Activist Hedge Fund Goes Postal On Jim Cramer

After last night’s marvelous Bloomberg profile of Bill Gross’ last days at PIMCO, we were confident that no written material today could surpass Mary Child’s fascinating narrative of the fallen bond king. And then we read Cannell Capital’s activist letter to one James J. Cramer, of CNBC and TheStreet director infamy, which is hands down the blockbuster reading material du jour.

Why?

Because where else can you find out how the Mad Money anchor with the record low Nielsen rating would have “assorted assistants spray ionized lavander water on his barren cranium“;
Where else could someone ask Cramer “when you lie upon your deathbed, how will you reflect upon on your legacy? Once a $70 stock, TST is now $2.20. The market capitalization of TST has declined from a peak of approximately $1.7 billion in 1999 to $75 million today. This represents the dissipation of about $1.6 billion of sharheolder value.“
Where else can a disgruntled shareholder tell Jim Cramer to “resign from CNBC and align your considerable energy and talents to helping your fellow shareholders crawl back from Hades.”
Where else does one do the actual math: “You have already extracted more than $14 million dollars from TST. In the very best years for the shareholders of Apple, Steve Jobs was paid only $1.00 per year. Warren Buffett’s salary has been $100,000 for more than 25 years. Why in the very worst years for TST shareholders must you pay yourself more than $3.5 million per year…. The four year employment agreement you signed in November 2013 guarantees you total compensation of at least $3.5 million per annum – nearly 5% of the market capitalization of TST and more than the cumulative dividends expected to be paid out this year to common shareholders.“

And then there is Cramer’s whole record low Nielsen rating “thing”, first reported here. So how does it feel to be on the other side this one time, Jim?

The author of the letter’s modest proposal: “collapse your inflated employment contract and conflicts and push to propel the business forward.” However, since there is nothing in the letter about collapsing Cramer’s “ego”, nothing will change.

So sell, sell, sell, TST stock, because while Jim Cramer collects his monthly paycheck from the sinking ship, shareholders will be left with nothing.

Of course, the end will only come if and when Cramer himself opines on TST stock: “TheStreet is fine” should about do it.

full letter below (pdf):