Rand Paul Rages In Epic Festivus Tweetstorm: “Thanks To Trump, We’re All Saying Merry Christmas Again”

Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) has ended 2018 with his annual “Festivus” Tweetstorm – roasting Washington DC in an epic fashion using the Seinfeld-created holiday tradition’s “Airing of Grievances” (which is of course followed by Feats of Strength). 

Paul starts off his 25-tweet sermon looking for Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA).

From there, Paul says it’s “time to talk” about certain people in Washington he has grievances with, “because it’s the holiday season.” 

“Let’s start with POTUS I like the President, I honestly do. I know people don’t believe me. But the man seems to have a problem keeping staff around him. But they solved the problem. I went to the White House the other day and there were at least 14 ppl in Mick Mulvaney masks.”

Paul then notes that due to the passage of criminal justice reform, “and coming home from wars,” that he must have a lot of influence on Trump. “It it true,” Paul states. “I’m on the phone with him a good amount. But I have to tell you, I haven’t gotten a word in on him in over a year.” 

Jared Kushner was up next, whom Paul is glad he “got to know,” because “before that I was a bit suspicious he was the kid for the Omen movie all grown up.”

Turning to Trump’s border wall – Paul had a suggestion to improve security: 

Next, the good Senator from Kentucky turned to Congress – noting that things “were so bad this week they made my friend Mike Lee say “doggone”. It was nuts.” 

Lindsey Graham (R-SC) got the treatment next – with Paul joking of Graham’s penchant for conflict “I have to tell you; I haven’t seen a Senator who loves war this much since the Star Wars Prequels.”

“Lindsay and I were on the same side on foreign policy for about 5 minutes a few weeks ago, regarding the Saudis. He said it was a sign of “end times”. I guess we are all gonna live a bit longer after all,” Paul added. 

On the topic of outgoing Secretary of Defense James Mattis, Paul noted “Many of these people hold these two views: 1 – that it was horrible to leave the war in Syria and 2 – that it is horrible that General Mattis left, since he was what kept the President from starting WWIII or something. I don’t understand how you hold both of those views.”

Neocons!

Paul offered brief condolences to the neocons – as their rag, The Weekly Standard just folded, and Trump just made a decidedly anti-Neocon move with the Syria withdrawal. “I really think their holiday is already bad enough, I don’t want to pile on,” Paul said. 

Except – when it comes to National Security adviser John Bolton: 

Paul ends by saying that he and Democrat Cory Booker (NJ) actually found mutual ground on a few issues – such as hemp legalization and criminal justice reforms, which must be “a Festivus miracle because Congress passed and the President signed BOTH of those things this week.” 

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