Tuesday Humor: Zimbabwe’s Mugabe Fires VP For Being A “Witch”

Zimbabwe’s 90-year-old President Robert Mugabe fired the country’s vice president, Joice Mujuru, today. His reasoning for her dismissal after 10 years in office… she is a witch who is plotting to assassinate him. She immediately responded, by radio address, saying she is not a witch (well she would, right?) adding she has “always been a God fearing person and would not and has not resorted to witchcraft to advance [her] political career.” Mujuru is the first vice president to be fired since Zimbabwe gained independence in 1980. Her four predecessors all ‘died’ in office.

As AP reports,

Zimbabwe’s President Robert Mugabe fired the country’s vice president, Joice Mujuru, on Tuesday.

 

Mugabe fired Mujuru and eight other Cabinet ministers with immediate effect, according to a statement released by the government.

 

“It had become evident that her conduct in the discharge of her duties had become inconsistent with the expected standard, exhibiting conflict between official responsibilities and private interests,” said the statement issued by the cabinet secretary, on behalf of Mugabe.

 

Mugabe recently accused Mujuru of plotting to assassinate him and branded her a witch. Mujuru and her allies were kicked out of their senior positions in the ruling party, Zanu-PF, at a meeting last weekend. The 90-year-old president said he would, however, allow them to retain ordinary membership of the party.

 

Mugabe has also accused Mujuru of holding secret meetings at the U.S. Embassy in Harare.

 

Mujuru has denied the claims, calling them “ridiculous” in her first public statement, released a day before she was fired.

 

“I have become the fly in a web of lies whose final objective is the destruction of Zanu-PF,” Mujuru said in a statement on Tuesday.

 

Mujuru, who has been a member of Mugabe’s cabinet since he became president in 1980, said no evidence has ever been brought against her.

 

Mujuru is the first vice president to be fired since Zimbabwe gained independence in 1980. Her four predecessors all died in office.

 

The ministers of energy, education, public service and social welfare, presidential affairs, communication and postal services are among the other members of Cabinet who were fired.

Mujuru responds in a radio address:

A vociferous attempt has been made to portray me as “a traitor”, “murderer” and “sell out”, yet not a single iota of evidence has been produced to give credence to the allegations.

 

Alleged practice of “witchcraft”: Were it not that the allegations of the practice of “witchcraft” have been made in relation to a very serious matter, I would not have been concerned.

 

Suffice to say that I am and have always been a God fearing person and would not and have not resorted to witchcraft to advance my political career. Support comes from the people, it cannot be divined under cover of darkness.

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What is ludicrous about all of this.. there is a much better way to test if she is indeed a witch…




via Zero Hedge http://ift.tt/1GgBU6u Tyler Durden

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