Girl Scout Cookies are Decadent and Depraved, Thank God.

10
Zen Monkeys has the drop of Girl Scout cookies. It turns out
that the delectable treats are not only still packed with calories
but with trans fat and saturated fats:

Those cute little girls selling cookies around your neighbor are
delivering junk-food snacks that are astonishingly unhealthy. (
Just four Samoas have 50% of your recommended saturated fat intake
for the day…)

How bad are the cookies in terms of cranking up the fat?

Check it out:

This information comes from the official FAQ for
Girl Scout Cookies, which helpfully points out that you can even
buy ice cream with Girl Scout cookies in it. And
surprisingly, it’s actually more healthy than the cookies
themselves. An entire half cup of ice cream — even
the “Girl
Scout Cookies Samoas” flavor from Breyers — contains less
fat and less sugar than four actual Samoa cookies! It’s even got
less sodium and fewer carbohydrates — so the
message is clear. If you want to fight childhood obesity, feed your
children Girl Scout Cookie ice cream instead of
actual Girl Scout cookies.

It gets better: Despite taking an oath to stop selling cookies
with trans fat, Girl Scout cookies still contain the offending
man-made lipid. But they’ve reduced the serving size of cookies so
that a serving has less than half a gram. According to FDA labeling
regs, that means the Girl Scouts can say it doesn’t contain any
trans fats.

You’re not gonna learn that sort of marketing ingenuity at home
or at school.

If you’re wondering what percentage of your recommended daily
fat content is contained in just four Girl Scout cookies, here you
go:

The next time you go hiking in Antarctica, make sure to pack
some Tagalongs or Samoas, just in case.

And more power to the Girl Scouts. Everyone – even Sesame
Street‘s Cookie Monster! – knows that cookies
are a sometimes food. So if you eat two boxes worth of Peanut
Butter Patties and feel like a fat shit, well, it’s your own damn
fault. The Girl Scouts, bless their pointed little heads, are just
giving us what we ask for. It’s up to us to consume cookies
wisely.

Read the whole thing.