Mom Demands Law to Force Kids to Wear Bright Clothes

Mel Finnemore, a mom of four in the UK, is trying
to get the government to pass a law requiring all children to wear
brightly colored coats or bookbags. Her goal is to increase kids’
visibility, thus preventing accidents. To this end, she organized a
parade of school children in hi-viz outerwear, telling
the press, “I want to get the message across to children that
it is ‘hip and happening’ to wear high visibility jackets.”

Because there is nothing more hip than a parade of school
children led by a mom. According to the Rutland Stamford &
Mercury:

“Some children think horses are cool, others think that of
bikes, so I’m trying to show them that it’s cool to wear bright
jackets like the professional men and women do.

“I want it to be made law for children to wear bright clothing
in winter. It would save many lives.”

The paper reports that after she wrote to the local member of
parliament, Alan Duncan, he wrote back saying he can “certainly
support the concept of high-visibility bags ” but that he
would “not be in favour of any form of compulsion.”

Huzzah huzzah, because
here’s the thing: The mom is clearly right about the value of
bright clothes, and I even sometimes think how dumb I am to be
wearing your standard-issue, so hip-it’s-boring black clothing
(sorry
Nick!) as I pedestrian my way around New York City. But make
this mom’s safety sensibility a law and what happens? We arrest the
parents of kids in camouflage? Do teens rebel by wearing dark
brown? Should we place children in foster care who show up to
school in plaid skirts and dark blue sweaters? Good bye,
preppies!

Maybe the next step would be to insist all kids wear bright
orange uniforms. That would certainly streamline the
school-to-prison pipeline, too. How’s that for a win/win?