Submitted by Steve Henningsen
Has the financial world stopped making sense to you? Frustrated by markets that go up day after day (or at least in the last 30-minutes of trading) under seemingly overvalued fundamentals? Confused by conflicting opinions from central bank governors? Tired of being misled by the Fed’s continuing threat of rising interest rates? Does buying up negative-interest-rate bonds seem like an idiotic task? Well not when you have central banks involved, so stop your whining about “fairness” and “fundamentals” and get on board the liquidity train by enrolling in my Chartered Central Bank Watcher (CCBW) program.
By obtaining your CCBW designation you can finally get relief from the arduous task of thinking and put aside those fears regarding moral hazard. CCBW’s will have the edge, as they follow the CB’s around the globe as they buy up $200 billion in financial assets monthly without breaking a sweat. Who needs hundreds of silly technical charts when you can just focus on one graph showing the mounting supply of central bank assets.
Don’t be concerned whether Apple’s next product is a hit. Simply follow the SNB’s lead as they buy up millions of shares. (Disclaimer: unlike the SNB, you can’t just print money and will actually have to earn or steal it.)
In this intensive 45-minute course you will learn the following:
- How to obtain central bank schedules so that you know when they are gathering.
- When central bank governors will be on CNBC, so you can get a jump on even the Algo traders.
- What dates and times are most likely to have central banker media “leaks” occur.
- Which negative yielding bonds CB’s will be buying next in order to front-run them like the big hedge funds. (Except you don’t have to pay off CB insiders!)
- How to read IMF whitepapers without falling asleep.
- How to ignore fundamentals and embrace your new girlfriend, TINA.
- How to decipher Fedspeak.
- Why the last 30-minutes prior to market close are the only ones that matter.
Included with your fee are several books from the master jawboners themselves, including the man that started it all off, Alan Greenspan’s The Age of Turbulence, followed by Ben Bernanke’s The Courage to Act, Mervyn King’s The End of Alchemy and the yet to be released book by Japan’s Haruhiko Kuroda, I Can’t Believe I Got Away with Buying Up the Entire Japanese Bond and Stock Market!
After obtaining your CCBW, you’ll see why fundamentals are for chumps and why most investors waste countless hours with cogitative activities, when they could be spending more quality time on Facebook. Sign up today at Icantbelievethisworks.com
via http://ift.tt/2cfFTt9 Tyler Durden