Gov. Brown Signs Bill Telling College Kids Where, When to Have Sex

California Gov. Jerry Brown
affixed his signature to SB 967—the “Yes Means Yes” affirmative
consent bill—which will require colleges to police their
students’ sex lives.

Some congrats are in order, I suppose? To collectivist
feminists, doomsayers of the “rape is an ever-worsening epidemic”
variety, and other puritans: Your so-called
progressivism has restored Victorian Era
prudishness to its former place as a guiding moral compass. Well
done, liberals.

The law instructs colleges to define consensual sex under strict
terms brilliantly thought up by the California legislature. It also
requires university administrators to investigate accusations of
sexual assault under a set of terrible procedures that short-change
victims by denying them fundamental due process rights. The law
specifically establishes the “preponderance of evidence” standard,
which mandates convictions for accused students deemed 50.1 percent
likely to be guilty by the campus judiciary body.

The bill’s sponsor, state Sen. Kevin de Leon,
celebrated the news of Brown’s signature, according to the

Associated Press. “With one in five women on college
campuses experiencing sexual assault, it is high time the
conversation regarding sexual assault be shifted to one of
prevention, justice, and healing,” said de Leon, citing a statistic
that is at least dubious, if not entirely
wrong.

At least entrepreneurs are hard at work inventing something to

lessen the blow (or allow the blowing, or whatever). Good2Go,
the affirmative consent iPhone app, theoretically eases the process
of inviting a partner to bed, though Greg Piper of The College
Fix has published a lengthy criticism of this thinking
here.

If universities don’t comply with the government’s demands
regarding students and sex, they could face losses of funding or
lawsuits. But if they do comply with the the
government’s demands, they will probably face more lawsuits from
students unfairly convicted of sexual assault under farcical campus
judiciary proceedings.

Either way, colleges are fucked.