Your Guide to Ignoring Midterm Election Television Coverage

You may be the type of weirdo
who is not interested in watching a CNN analyst explain in detail
(with charts) the difference in the number of votes in Mecklenburg
County, North Carolina, for President Barack Obama in 2012 versus
the number of votes for Democratic Sen. Kay Hagan today. We all
have our flaws.

But we have you covered at Reason with a less painful, less
intrusive option. At our Reason
24/7 newsfeed we’ll be busy tonight putting out the latest
information on election outcomes of interest to libertarians. No
inane analysis, just info. (Warning: There may be sarcasm in
headlines. Also: puns.) We’ll have regular posts on the outcomes of
races and ballot initiatives we’ve been highlighting at Reason for
the past couple of weeks, whether it’s
libertarian-leaning candidates from either party, actual

Libertarian Party candidates, and important
ballot initiatives. We’ll also take note of whether the
Republicans have taken control of the Senate, assuming anybody is
able to actually make that call this evening. We’ve made it easy
for you to just check periodically and then turn back to something
more entertaining. You can check out the site feed here. Our Twitter feed is here, and I’ll be tweeting out
numbers and info there periodically throughout the night. If you
have our Reason
app, the 24/7 feed is right on there, easy to check before
turning back to Instagram or whatever hookup app you’re using to
get some quick nookie.

So what to watch or do instead? Sadly, some networks seem to
have worried that people will actually want to tune in to midterm
election results tonight and are running reruns rather than
counterprogramming. No new episode of The Flash tonight.
Boo! Even worse, no new episode of The Independents
tonight. Boo! For those looking to escape from the wall of talking
heads, here are some options. (We claim no responsibility for
interruptions, commercial breaks, or news tickers that expose you
to midterm election results despite your best efforts.)

In the wake of the end of How I Met Your Mother,
networks have offered a glut of gimmicky romantic comedies, most of
which are bombing. The terribly-named Selfie, which
recasts Pygmalion for the era of social media, is offering
up back-to-back episodes at 8 p.m. on ABC. Fox follows up with its
own comedy block of The New Girl and The Mindy
Project from 9 to 10 p.m., but before that Fox is serving up a
second season of MasterChef Junior. Normally I wouldn’t
dream of recommending watching any reality show featuring Gordon
Ramsey for any reason other than an education in how phony and
predictable reality shows are. But MasterChef Junior
causes Ramsey and his cohorts to briefly act like acceptable human
beings. Also the children were really good cooks in the first
season, much better than many of the adults that have appeared on
Ramsay’s other shows.

I don’t believe anybody on Sons of Anarchy is legally
allowed to vote with their criminal records, so they will continue
with their final season of killing each other and everybody else at
10 p.m. on FX. I don’t watch the show, and I’m assuming that’s not
a spoiler, and everybody who watches knows that the series is going
to end with everybody dead.

What I would be watching if weren’t serving you all with midterm
news that you will maybe glance at for seconds (I’m not bitter, I
swear!) is Marvel: 75 Years, from Pulp to Pop on ABC at 9
p.m. I grew up reading Marvel comics, particularly the X-Men.
Colossus made me gay. True story.

And of course, there’s always
Netflix! They’ve got Batman and Batman
Returns today. Those are the Michael Keaton ones.

But let’s not forget video games.
Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare is out today, perfect to
remind us all on Election Day that government is above all things,
a purveyor of deadly force. Kevin Spacey provides voice acting for
this edition, presumably playing an amoral asshole with a
deliberately bored vocal affect. Just a guess.

For video game nostalgiamaniacs, the Internet Archive has just
made it possible to play hundreds of old arcade games in your web
browser with an emulator. Check it out here.

And of course, besides our Reason 24/7 result coverage, we’ll
also be blogging our own analysis of the midterm outcomes tonight
here at Hit and Run, so check us out during commercial breaks or
while waiting for your Call of Duty map to load.