Occupy Thanksgiving!: A Shot of Cranberry Schnapps to Clear the Drowsing

Here’s Reason TV’s Thanksgiving release from 2011. It’s less
than 30 seconds long and goes down like a chill shot of cranberry
schnapps, which we sincerely hope does not exist. And it’s a
testament to however quickly contemporary memes come and go, old
movies with high-pitched kids who sound like Towelie from South
Park are forever.

Original writeup follows.
Go here for links and downloadable versions.

In a time of 9 percent unemployment, a faltering global
economy, toxic levels of political rancor, and the release
of Twilight: Breaking Dawn, is there anything left to
be thankful for?

Reason offers a message of hope, redemption, and dada.

About 30 seconds. Produced by Meredith Bragg and Nick
Gillespie.

Key moments in Thanksgiving history:

1621: Pilgrims in Plymouth Plantation,
Massachusetts and Wampanoag Indians celebrate a harvest feast that
is generally acknowledged as the precursor to Thanksgiving.

1675-1676: About 40 percent of Wampanoag
tribe killed by colonists and other Indians during King Phillip’s
War.

1777: During Revolutionary War,
Continental Congress makes first Thanksgiving proclamation,
declaring December 18 a day that no work should be done or fun
should be had, thus paving the way for the contemporary
tradition of spending time with family and watching dull NFL
games featuring the Detroit Lions. The original declaration
instructs “That servile Labor, and such Recreation, as, though at
other Times innocent, may be unbecoming the Purpose of this
Appointment, be omitted on so solemn an Occasion.”

1863: Abraham Lincoln sets the last
Thursday in November as the date for a national holiday dedicated
to the idea that even with the Civil War raging, things had been
going pretty well when you got right down to it: “Population has
steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in
the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country,
rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is
permitted to expect continuance of years, with large increase of
freedom.”

1915: Preacher William Simmons and 15
others revived
the Ku Klux Klan by burning a cross on Georgia’s Stone
Mountain on Thanksgiving, tying the event to the Atlanta opening
the following week of D.W. Griffith’s pro-Klan movie, The
Birth of a Nation.

1924: First Macy’s Day Parade held in New
York City featuring live animals on floats. After multiple episodes
of tigers and bears eating beauty queens and local politicians, the
animals are replaced in 1927 with balloons of Felix the Cat
and other characters.

1939: In a bid to lengthen the Christmas
retail season, Franklin Roosevelt unilaterally declared
Thanksgiving would take place on the third Thursday in November
rather than the last, thus giving rise to what was derided as
“Franksgiving” and what lives on as Black Friday. In 1941, federal
legislation declared Thanksgiving would be celebrated on the fourth
Thursday in November, marking the last time that Congress passed a
law that didn’t cost future generations a lot of money.

1987: Ronald Reagan initiates the custom
of publicly pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving; lives to regret it
when George H.W. Bush succeeds him as president. Subsequent
presidents pardon two turkeys each holiday, because two is twice as
good as one.

2009: President Barack Obama fattens
turkeys with stimulus dollars, predicts swift end to surprisingly
persistent economic downturn that he inherited from previous
occupant.

2011: In a bid to appeal to GOP voters,
free-falling Republican presidential candidate Gov. Rick Perry of
Texas refuses to review clemency requests and approves the
execution of innocent turkeys. For the purposes of school-lunch
programs, federal government declares pizza a vegetable and pepper
spray a condiment for educational institutions.

Sources: Wikipedia, 10ZenMonkeys.com, Fevered
Imagination.

More fun at
Reason.tv.