Immigrant Girl Will Be Deported Because Adoptive Father Missed Deadline While Serving in Afghanistan

Here’s the sort of story that should never happen, especially in a country that prides itself on its humanity and openness to newcomers.

In 2013, Army Lt. Col. Patrick Schreiber and his wife put off officially adopting their teenaged daughter, Hyebin, who was born in the Republic of Korea. The reason? He was about to deploy to Afghanistan for a year. When he returned, they put through the paperwork, adopted her, and then started working on her citizenship. But Hyebin had turned 17 in the interim, which is a problem:

The U.S. immigration law cutoff for a foreign-born adopted child to become a naturalized citizen is 16, and on Friday a U.S. District Court in Kansas ruled in favor of U.S. Customs and Immigration Services that there would not be an exception in Hyebin’s case. She is allowed to complete her degree in chemical engineering at the University of Kansas, which she will do next year. Then she must return to Korea, Schreiber said Monday.

Here is Schreiber’s backstory:

Schreiber served in the military for 27 years, meeting his wife Soo Jin while he was serving as a tank company executive officer and in other positions in Korea with 1st Battalion, 72nd Armor Regiment in the late 1990s. Hyebin was Soo Jin’s niece, and when Hyebin’s home life became too difficult, Schreiber and his wife took her in as their own daughter.

During his military career, Schreiber jumped with the 82nd Airborne Division into Panama during Operation Just Cause, served in Desert Shield and Desert Storm, deployed to Iraq from 2005 to 2006 and then again from 2007 to 2008. He was sent to Afghanistan from 2010 to 2011 and then again from 2013 to 2014. He retired in 2015 and still works for DoD as a contractor.

Schreiber and his wife are filing an appeal, but he says that if they lose the case, the whole family will move to Korea. “As I tell my daughter, life isn’t fair,” Schreiber told Military Times, where the above quotes are taken from. “The main thing is to be resilient.”

That sort of stoicism is perhaps to be expected from a career military man, but the situation is nuts. Life being unfair is getting cancer in your teens, or struck by lightning, or something like that. This is a matter of policy which is eminently addressable and fixable, as are so many problems in contemporary America (think of education, drug policy, criminal justice, and other areas where bad outcomes are baked into a system that can be reformed).

Although Donald Trump, his administration, and the Republican Party are openly hostile to legal immigration, one hopes that these particular circumstances might breach the wall around their hearts and cause them to rethink not just this case, but others as well.

Immigration policy in the United States has a long and tendentious history shot through with unapologetic racism, which makes it particularly difficult to discuss with any sense of decorum or even basic reality. Trump was barely five minutes into the announcement that he was seeking the presidency when he launched into a reality-challenged attack on Mexicans, as you may recall. Back in the 1920s, “even some of the people fighting racist immigration and citizenship laws were racist.” Attempting to get around a ban on immigration for Asian Indians, Bhagat Singh Thind argued in front of the Supreme Court that not only was he a “high caste aryan,” but that he was as disgusted by “the aboriginal Indian Mongoloid…as the American regards the Negro” and would never have sex with either (he lost his case, which led to the revocation of citizenship to other Asian Indians).

Ironically, the overtly nativist tone taken by Trump administration members, Republican members of Congress (remember draft-dodging Rep. Steve King of Iowa lamenting that “you can’t restore our civlization with somebody else’s babies”), and anti-immigration activists is making immigration more popular. Gallup finds that that just 12 percent of voters consider “immigration/illegal immigrants” the most important problem facing the country (29 percent say the real problem is “Dissatisfaction with government/Poor leadership.”) In June of this year, the polling service found

A record-high 75% of Americans, including majorities of all party groups, think immigration is a good thing for the U.S.—up slightly from 71% last year. Just 19% of the public considers immigration a bad thing….

Corroborating the data that show Americans believe immigration is good for the country, a separate Gallup trend question shows a record-low number of Americans—29%—saying that immigration into the U.S. should be decreased. A plurality of 39% think immigration into the U.S. should be kept at its present level, while 28% say it should be increased.

Donald Trump just might go down in history as the leader who finally, unambiguously made America pro-immigrant. Here’s hoping that turnaround happens in time for Patrick Schrieber, his wife Soo jin, and their daughter Hyebin. What a waste to lose them over an accident of timing.

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Nasdaq Breaks Critical Technical Support As FANGs Are FUBAR

Every effort at a bounce today is failing and Nasdaq is leading the decline, breaking below its 50DMA…

This is the deepest below its 50DMA the Nasdaq has been since May

 

FANGs are the worst performers… (biggest drop in FANGs since July)

 

And Semis are ugly…

 

Tech has erased all of its September gains relative to Financials…

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Flake, Collins Say FBI Report “Thorough”, Fails To Corroborate Claims By Kavanaugh Accuser

The confirmation of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the US Supreme Court now appears to be a foregone conclusion, after two key GOP swing votes backed an FBI report they called for before committing to voting ‘yes’ for the nominee. 

Sen. Jeff Flake of Arizona backed fellow GOP Sen. Susan Collins of Maine, calling the FBI’s reopened background investigation of sexual harassment claims against Kavanaugh thorough, and noting that it failed to back salacious claims made by accuser Christine Blasey Ford. 

“I think Susan Collins was quoted saying it was very thorough but no new corroborative information came out of it. That’s accurate,” Flake told reporters after viewing the FBI report in the Capitol Visitor Center’s secure compartmentalized information facility (SCIF) on Thursday. 

“I wanted this pause, we’ve had this pause. We’ve had the professionals, the FBI, determine — given the scope that we gave them, current credible allegations — to go and do their review which they’ve done,” said Flake, adding “Thus far we’ve seen no new credible corroboration, no new corroboration at all.” 

Also undecided was GOP Senator Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, who pushed for the FBI report delay just one day after Dianne Feinstein cornered her in a hallway for an apparent “talking to.” 

So with the FBI report done, and two out of three key GOP swing voters reporting that the FBI report they pushed for is “thorough” and does not corroborate Ford’s claims, it appears that Kavanaugh is mere days away from becoming the next Supreme Court justice.

And while Kavanaugh is supposed to rule impartially during his lifetime appointment on the bench of the highest court in the land, we somehow doubt he’ll ever forget what the Democrats did to he and his family during what should have been one of their proudest moments.

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Viewing Bar Fights As Normal Male Behavior Encourages Violence

The 1985 altercation that led New Haven police to question Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, then a 20-year-old junior at Yale, does not sound like much of a bar fight. According to the police report, a 21-year-old complainant said Kavanaugh had thrown ice at him, while one of Kavanaugh’s friends, Chris Dudley, had hurled a glass, injuring his ear. The genesis of the fight is barely intelligible: Apparently Kavanaugh and his friends were staring at the complainant, trying to figure out if he was the lead singer of UB40, which had performed in New Haven that night. The guy told them to cut it out in an unfriendly manner, which annoyed Kavanaugh.

I’m not sure what, if anything, this incident has to do with Kavanaugh’s fitness for the Supreme Court. But attempts to use the story against him have provoked a revealing debate about how common it is for young men to get into bar fights. Broadly speaking, Kavanaugh’s defenders think bar fights are a rite of passage for men, so they are no big deal, while his detractors say most men don’t get into bar fights, so Kavanaugh’s involvement in one reflects on his character. Although I’m inclined toward the latter view, I’ve yet to see any solid data on the question. But it seems likely that men who view bar fights as normal are more apt to start or join them.

“I don’t know one guy, including myself, who wasn’t in a bar fight,” Newsmax TV host John Cardillo remarked on Twitter this week. “Not a single one.” New York Times columnist Ross Douthat, one of the paper’s token conservatives, reported that “I’ve been in two bar fights, though I suppose one was technically a ‘Jumbo Slice fight.'” Fox Business Network correspondent Charles Gasparino bragged that “Ive been in dozens of bar fights (ask the guys I grew up with),” “nearly lost an eye in one,” and “that’s just one of the injuries (I have the scarred stitch marks to prove the rest).” Although Gasparino has “never been black out drunk,” he said, “I have had to defend myself, which I am still perfectly capable of doing.”

These accounts, especially Cardillo’s, are very different from my own experience. I’ve patronized many bars over the years, but I have never been involved in a bar fight (or even witnessed one, as far as I can recall), and I know lots of male drinkers with a similar lack of such experience. For what it’s worth, an online survey that Esquire conducted in 2010 found that 74 percent of the 5,000 or so respondents had never been involved in a bar fight. This was not a random sample, but given the magazine’s audience I assume it was overwhelmingly male. Within this group of men who read Esquire and take the time to fill out online surveys, bar fights were definitely not the norm.

Some people are more temperamentally inclined to violence than others, which may be a good reason for anyone who values peace to avoid drinking with Cardillo, Gasparino, or their friends. But social expectations and beliefs about the relationship between alcohol and violence also can affect how people act when they drink.

In their classic 1969 study Drunken Comportment, the psychologist Craig MacAndrew and the anthropologist Robert Edgerton pointed out that behavior under the influence of alcohol varies between individuals in the same culture, across situations in the same individual, over time in the same individual, across cultures, across situations in the same culture, and over time in the same society. Their most interesting evidence came from cross-cultural comparisons, including societies in North America, South America, Africa, and Asia. They cited examples of tribes where people would get falling-down drunk without any dramatic changes in demeanor and others where people routinely got into bloody fights after drinking. Within the same society, people drinking in a ceremonial context would be peaceful and friendly, while people drinking in a less structured situation would be raucous and violent, even though the amounts consumed were comparable.

Violent tendencies vary from one person to another in every culture and situation. But when you combine aggressive people spoiling for a fight with a context that gives them an excuse, you are asking for trouble.

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Tuesday’s Presidential Alert Text Is Everything You Need To Know About The US Government

Via TheAntiMedia.com,

The internet erupted in a flurry of posts about President Trump’s message to millions of people Tuesday afternoon. The text, which was announced prior to its transmission, served as a test to a new national alert system enacted by FEMA for the purposes of alerting citizens about natural disasters, terrorist attacks, and other emergencies.

People were quick to express their desire to opt out (you can’t) and their general disgust at receiving direct texts from the president. Others condescendingly claimed the alerts will be for our own good – because apparently no one ever got word of national emergencies until the day Donald Trump and FEMA decided they were going sound the alarm.

While the national alert has people issuing a glut of social media posts focused on Trump, the single message actually tells you everything you need to know about the government.

1. No one ever asked if you wanted it: Because of a law passed in 2006, the government can assertsthe president’s right to text you even if you turn off other government notifications. Similarly, the increasingly omnipotent government at large never asks if you’d like to participate. Despite popular rhetoric about the “social contract,” at no point in a person’s life does the government send a consent form to the people it taxes and rules over asking if they would, in fact, like to engage in the system. Though politicians and their supporters can claim “we are the government” all they want, we were never given a chance to actually voluntarily agree.

2. You don’t have a choice over these impositions on your property: Even though we own our phones and our data plans, there is no way to opt out of the presidential alert. Just as owning your own home does not preclude the government from taxing it and confiscating it if you refuse to pay, the government can also apparently invade your private phone. The same mechanism applies to taxation in general: the government asserts its right to impose itself on your property (money). This is the basis of how it sustains itself and all of its operations, including sending you annoying texts with screeching alarms.

3. You can’t opt out: You might be able to opt out of annoying cold calls from private companies, but when it comes to government, you have no choice. You were never asked if you want to participate, you can’t prevent the state from infringing on your private property, and you also can’t peacefully excuse yourself. If you, for example, decided you didn’t want your tax dollars to fund imperial wars that kill innocent people, well, too bad. If you don’t want to fund mass surveillance, tough luck. And if you refuse to pay, you will be thrown in a cage. If you don’t want to go through the TSA’s body scanners, you can technically “opt out,” but only insofar as you’re willing to have your private parts groped by a government agent. This is what defines government: its ability to force you to submit without requiring your permission and without giving you an alternative. You can’t even “leave if you don’t like it” without paying a compulsory, exorbitant fee.

4. It’s for your safety!: Many are convinced the alerts are necessary in order to protect us. But just as FEMA is certain these texts will help in emergency situations, the government at large insists it is there to protect you. The previously mentioned wars, mass surveillance, and state-sanctioned sexual assault are all in place to preserve public safety, just like President Trump’s text.

The memes mocking Trump’s new alert system are already flooding the internet, and most people have already formed an opinion on it.

If only they would opt out of the mentality that their participation in this entire system is voluntary.

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Texas Students Will Now Learn How To Survive a Police Stop

|||Screenshot via NBCDFWTexas schools added something new to their curriculums this year: a course on how to go through a police stop.

In 2017, state lawmakers passed the Community Safety Education Act, which requires all high schools to teach a course on police interactions at least once before each student graduates. Schools were provided with a 16-minute video and related course work. The instructional video, which contains the robotic acting and Power Rangers-esque soundtrack some of you may remember from your own school days, is available for viewing below.

The related course work instructs students to follow various procedures, such as keeping both hands visible and on the steering wheel, and notifying the officer of their intention to reach for a license or insurance documents. The packet also informs students of expected officer conduct. For example, students will be taught that officers should obtain clear consent for a search. Should something go poorly during the stop, or even exceptionally well, students will learn how to file a complaint and leave a compliment.

Intentional or not, the tips in the mandated course resemble a discussion known as “the talk” that occurs between black parents and their children. (A digital media company called Jubilee Media recreated “the talk” here.) The conversation largely covers how to act during police interactions, which includes remaining calm and compliant. And while some brush off the concept, there have been a number of fatal interactions that have caused many to feel the need for such conversations and classes.

In July 2016, for example, the officer-involved shooting death of Philando Castile caused frustration after he was killed while attempting to comply with instructions from a panicked officer. Castile was not only forthcoming about the fact that he legally carried a firearm, he was shot while reaching for his wallet despite the officer’s previous request for his identification. Castile’s death is a reminder that citizens can do everything right and still suffer at the hands of law enforcement.

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US Indicts 7 Russians In International ‘Hacking Spree’

Russian President Vladimir Putin’s warning that the US is undermining its own currency with its sanctions regime has apparently fallen on deaf ears. 

To wit, the DOJ announced indictments against seven members of the GRU, Russia’s military intelligence unit on Thursday and accused Russia of embarking on a worldwide hacking spree targeting Fifa, anti-doping agencies and international chemical weapons watchdog the Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons, per the Financial Times.

News of the indictments followed reports that the Dutch security services has expelled four Russians in April over a plot targeting the OPCW, the organization that has been investigating the attacks into former Russian double-agent Sergei Skripal, per the BBC.

Eagle

British Prime Minister Theresa May and Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte said the conspiracy demonstrated “the GRU’s disregard for global values and rules that keep us all safe”.

“By revealing this Russian action, we send out a clear message: Russia must stop this,” said Dutch Defence Minister Ank Bijleveld-Schouten.

Three of the Russians who were indicted were also charged in July by Robert Mueller, the special counsel investigating alleged Russian interference in the US presidential election in 2016.

“They evince some of the same methods of computer intrusion and the same overarching Russian strategic goal: to pursue its interests through illegal influence and disinformation operations aimed at muddying or altering perceptions of the truth,” he said in prepared remarks.

Per the FT, British Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt said the UK was discussing further sanctions against Russia with its allies.

Russia is yet to comment officially. However, its foreign ministry said one would follow shortly after it dismissed the allegations as “Western spy mania….picking up pace”.

According to ABC, Dutch officials said the four suspects had diplomatic passports. Two were IT experts and two were support agents, officials said.

Moscow denied the allegations, however ABC said surveillance footage and other investigative evidence gathered by the US paint the GRU as an organization that “routinely crosses red lines”. Still, it’s unlikely that these men will ever be apprehended due to Russia’s policy of non-extradition, meaning that these indictments, like the last two rounds, are all bark, and no bite.

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Should the Government Ban Parents Using IVF from Picking Their Kid’s Eye Color?

BabyBlueEyesZoltanNagyDreamstimeProspective parents using the IVF services provided by clinics associated with the Fertility Institutes company can have their embryos screened for genes associated with over 400 hereditary diseases, as well as gender determination and even eye color. Despite the objections of some bioconservatives, it is now generally agreed as a matter of reproductive liberty that it is ethical for parents availing themselves of assisted reproductive technologies to screen for genes that confer higher risk for hereditary diseases, and then select those without the traits for implantation.

Researchers are now developing and deploying screening tests that take into account the interactions of hundreds of genes that increase the risks of disease conditions like aetherosclerosis or diabetes. The Wall Street Journal reports that the company Genomic Prediction has just begun offering its Expanded Pre-Implantation Genomic Testing for just such polygenic disease risks.

Sex selection of embryos with the goal of avoiding sex-linked hereditary diseases is now, for the most part, also ethically uncontroversial. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine notes that there is no ethical consensus with respect to non-medical sex selection. It is, however, noteworthy that a 2017 survey of several hundred American IVF clinics reported that 72.7 percent of the clinics offered sex selection. And among those clinics offering sex selection, 93.6 percent of them reported performing sex selection for family balancing, and 81.2 percent reported performing sex selection for elective purposes (patient preference, regardless of rationale for the request).

One often expressed concern is that pre-implantation sex selection will skew male-female population sex-ratios. Certainly, this effect has been well-documented in some traditional cultures in which techniques such as sex-selected abortions have been used to favor the birth of male children. However, there is very little evidence that such strong preferences for male children exist in many industrialized countries. For example, a 2006 survey of Americans probing their views on sex selection reproductive technologies found that 50 percent wished to have a family with an equal number of boys and girls, seven percent wanted more boys than girls, six percent wanted more girls than boys, five percent wanted only boys, four percent only girls, and 27 percent had no preference.

If using pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) to select embryos to avoid disease and to choose the sex of future children is ethical, what about other characteristics? As an example of what may soon be possible, The Journal cites an ethical conundrum posed by Stephen Hsu, a founder of Genomic Prediction.

An IVF doctor has two healthy, viable embryos and must choose which to implant. One has a hypothetical risk score that indicates the embryo is at high risk for struggling academically in school. The second embryo has a score indicating the future child likely won’t struggle. Do you tell the parents?

“It seems ethically not defensible to withhold the information from the parents,” he says, “and ethically defensible to reveal it to them.”

Hsu is right: Withholding information that might be relevant to a person’s reproductive decisions would be clearly unethical.

Not everyone agrees. For example, Josephine Johnston, director of research at the Hastings Center bioethics think tank, tells the Journal that she recognizes that parenting often comes with “the understandable desire to give your child advantages,” like height, or musical talent. However, allowing parents to select among IVF embryos for such traits, she adds, “can seem awfully close to a eugenic mind-set, where we thought we can sort the worthy and fit from the unworthy and unfit.” In addition, she argues that selecting against gene combinations that increase disease and disability risks, and in favor of those that confer health or psychological benefits, would risk increasing societal prejudice against people who are currently disadvantaged by diseases and disabilities through no fault of their own.

Allowing parents using IVF to test for and choose gene combinations that have a greater chance of endowing their prospective children with benefits like health and academic success is not ethically comparable to the state-mandated eugenics programs that involuntarily sterilized some 60,000 citizens in the United States (not to mention the Nazi horrors). In fact, legally forcing them to forego such testing is an exercise of state-mandated eugenics, since the government is deciding for parents what sorts of offspring they will be allowed to have.

But what about allowing parents to choose among IVF embryos for such apparently incidental genetic traits like eye color? The Journal cites a couple who availed themselves of such testing offered by a Fertility Institute clinic. The testing indicated that in a group of five of their embryos, one would be likely to have blue eyes.* The couple pointed out that testing for eye color is just one more thing once they’ve already started looking at an embryo to rule out diseases. As it happens, the couple has decided to start their family the old-fashioned way, allowing the random combination of their genes to determine their offspring’s eye color. In any case, if the screening technology is safe and effective, there is no compelling ethical reason to limit this exercise of reproductive liberty.

*Aesthetically speaking green, hazel and brown eyes are superior, but some of my best friends dauntlessly endure the burden of blue eyes.

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Kavanaugh’s College Roommate: “Brett Was Frequently Incoherently Drunk”

Another college classmate of Judge Brett Kavanaugh has come forward to accuse President Trump’s SCOTUS nominee of lying about both his collegiate drinking habits and the meaning of certain phrases (“devil’s triangle”) during his testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee. Jamie Roche, who was Kavanaugh’s freshman-year roommate at Yale, said in an op-ed published by Slate and in an interview with CNN’s Anderson Cooper that Kavanaugh was “frequently incoherently drunk” and would occasionally drink to the point of getting sick in his room.

Roche, who shared a suite with Kavanaugh and another roommate, claimed that he had not been contacted by the FBI, which turned in its expanded background-check report on Kavanaugh early Thursday after also being left out of the initial investigation. That report was given to the White House and will be shared with Senators in a controlled fashion to ensure that it doesn’t leak.

Roche

In the op-ed, Roche claimed that he refused to speak on the record with New Yorker reporter Ronan Farrow when he was contacted for Farrow’s story about Kavanaugh’s classmate (and accuser) Debbie Ramirez. Roche said he only told Farrow that there was “zero chance” that Ramirez was lying about her story (she accused Kavanaugh of pulling out his penis and shoving it in her face during a drunken form room party) and that Kavanaugh was “frequently incoherently drunk.” Still, Roche said he was the anonymous college classmate who told Farrow that Kavanaugh was frequently drunk, an allegation that was raised during Kavanaugh’s testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee last week.

When asked about my comments in the New Yorker at his hearing last week, Judge Kavanaugh seemed to suggest that my account was not credible because “it was a contentious situation” where I “did not like” the third suitemate. He then referenced a prank I pulled on the third suitemate and some redacted portion of his closed-door questioning by Senate Judiciary Committee staff. It’s true that I played a prank on the third roommate. We were not close. But that relationship has no bearing on my ability to observe Kavanaugh’s behavior then and to describe it now.

Just like Ford, Ramirez and another college classmate of Kavanaugh’s, Roche said he did not want to come forward and only did so reluctantly, adding that he doubted that Kavanaugh would face legal consequences for his alleged lies, and that “either he will be confirmed or another conservative judge will be.” He also claimed that his involvement in the Kavanaugh case would come with “personal and reputational” damage.

I did not want to come forward. When the New Yorker’s Ronan Farrow contacted me while researching a story about Debbie and Brett, I told him that I didn’t see the point. There is no way that Brett will face legal consequences after this much time. Either he will be confirmed or another conservative judge will be. There would be a high cost. I was raised in a Republican family. My mother, who has since passed away, was a Republican state representative in Connecticut. My father owns a MAGA hat. I have close friends who are very conservative. In recent years I have had disagreements over politics with some of these friends and family, but I care deeply about them. My involvement has and will come with personal, professional, and reputational damage.

In a statement that will almost certainly be used by Democrats as ammunition to try and call the FBI’s expanded background-check report into question, Roche said he was not interviewed either initially or during the FBI’s most recent probe, which he said would suggest that the FBI “wasn’t looking for” information about Kavanaugh’s behavior in college.

Others would say: “Brett was background-checked many times. This must be made up.” As Brett’s college freshman roommate, I would have expected to be interviewed if a background check was looking for evidence of poor college behavior. I wasn’t called. I assume college behavior was not a topic of interest. The FBI didn’t find Debbie’s story because they were not looking for it.

As for this round of the investigation: I still haven’t been called, even though they are supposedly looking into Debbie’s case. How will they learn what happened if once again they are not allowed to truly and thoroughly investigate?

Roche said he had heard Kavanaugh and his friends use terms like “boofing” and “devils triangle” in a sexual way, and that he “cannot imagine why” anyone would want to confirm someone to the Supreme Court who would lie under oath about such easily verifiable information.

I do not know if Brett attacked Christine Blasey Ford in high school or if he sexually humiliated Debbie in front of a group of people she thought were her friends. But I can say that he lied under oath. He claimed that he occasionally drank too much but never enough to forget details of the night before, never enough to “black out.” He did, regularly. He said that “boofing” was farting and the “Devil’s Triangle” was a drinking game. “Boofing” and “Devil’s Triangle” are sexual references. I know this because I heard Brett and his friends using these terms on multiple occasions.

I can’t imagine that anyone in the Senate wants to confirm an individual to a lifetime appointment on the United States Supreme Court who has demonstrated a willingness to be untruthful under oath about easily verified information.

Still, while this certainly isn’t ideal, the fact remains that the Democrats will have an extraordinarily difficult time turning two of the three undecided Republicans to their side to vote against Kavanaugh’s confirmation. And even if they did, like Roche himself points out, Trump will just nominate another conservative judge in his place

Watch the CNN interview below:

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TSA Confiscates Bullet-Shaped Ice Cubes, Even Though Unusable Bullets Are TSA-Approved

The Transportation Security Administration’s Instagram page is a nightmarish mash-up of national security state propaganda and bad dad jokes. The fact that the TSA has captured more social media awards than it has terrorists says something about what the agency is actually good at.

Sometimes the account serves up a truly maddening cocktail of earnest obedience to nonsensical rules while simultaneously demonstrating just how silly those rules are. That’s what happened Wednesday when the TSA Instagram account posted a picture of six bullet-shaped whiskey stones agents had confiscated from an unlucky traveler at Idaho’s Lewiston-Nez Perce County Airport:

As the post explains, whiskey stones are steel objects that can be used instead of ice to chill drinks, and they’re very useful if you don’t like watered down whiskey. They are also, of course, not weapons—not even when shaped like bullets.

If you read through the awful puns and ignore the ridiculousness of the TSA admitting that it did not, in fact, make the skies any safer by stealing someone’s whiskey stones, the post eventually gets around to explaining why the whiskey stones were seized.

As you might expect, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

The TSA doesn’t allow bullets and other ammunition in carry-on bags, of course. Even that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, because bullets can’t do much on their own—but, given the TSA’s awful track record at keeping guns and other weapons from getting through security checkpoints, maybe they’re just operating as if a gun might be on the plane.

The story of the seized whiskey stones takes a turn for the absurd when the TSA explains that empty shell casings with the primer removed or discharged—in other words, bullet-shaped objects that cannot be fired—are, in fact, allowed in carry-on bags.

What’s the fundamental difference between an empty shotgun shell and these whiskey stones? One will keep your drink cold, and the other won’t—but that distinction should not matter to the TSA. What matters is that neither can be fired out of a gun.

This is a little thing, of course, compared to some of the bigger issues facing the TSA. But, like the fact that many TSA employees hate their jobs, and the agency’s efforts to make itself the center of attention on anniversaries of 9/11, it’s a little thing that points to bigger problems. Nearly two decades after it was created, the TSA is not the last line of defense against terrorism. It’s a bloated, wasteful bureaucracy that treats innocent Americans like criminals and then shares those stories for laughs on social media. It kills bunnies, gropes grandmothers, detains kids, and still can’t find actual weapons being smuggled onto planes.

The nonsensical explanation for the confiscated whiskey stones is perfectly in keeping with the TSA’s legacy. It’s telling that when United Airlines told passengers returning from last year’s San Diego Comic Con that comic books were banned from checked bags, lots of people thought it was true. It wasn’t; the airline had misunderstood a confusing TSA directive.

To recap: It’s fine to carry ammunition that cannot be fired in your checked bag—but it’s illegal to carry whiskey stones (which, of course, cannot be fired) shaped like ammunition. Otherwise the terrorists win.

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