Has The World Gone Mad (Again)?

A few select headlines from the day that made us, well, wonder…

OBAMA’S GOAL IS FOR RUSSIA TO STEP BACK IN CRIMEA, LEW SAYS (hope and change?)
CHINA SHOULD LOOSEN RESTRICTIONS OVER HOME PURCHASES: SEC. NEWS (but, but, but the reforms?)
DONETSK GOVERNOR (AND BROTHER) HAD MOAT DUG OUT ON RUSSIAN BORDER (and filled with crocodiles?)
BEIJING TO SPEND 20M YUAN TO CHANGE WEATHER TO CUT SMOG: DAILY (winning the war on weather and hence the economy)
PUTIN SPOKESMAN SAYS UKRAINE FORCES MUST CHOOSE SIDES: BBC (hhmm, tough decision)
FLAHERTY SAYS DECISION TO LEAVE POLITICS WAS NOT RELATED IN ANY WAY TO HIS HEALTH (just being pissed off)
CARNEY SAYS LOW RATE ENVIRONMENT IS CONDUCIVE TO COMPLACENCY (and water is wet and we’ll keep doing it)
IRS INFORMS EMPLOYEES OF PERSONAL INFORMATION DATA BREACH (shame really)
UKRAINE FAILS TO SELL DEBT AT DOMESTIC AUCTION: FIN MIN. (but TSLA did – shoulda sold stock)
BANK OF CANADA’S POLOZ SAYS HARD TO BELIEVE THAT RECENT ECONOMIC SOFTNESS IN CANADA IS ALL DUE TO THE WEATHER. (wait what?)
ESTONIA’S PRESIDENT ILVES SAYS EU RESPONSE “SHOULD NOT BE ABOUT THE PRICE OF GAS” (what else is there?)
U.S. TREASURY CORRECTS TICS DATA RELEASED EARLIER TODAY (#Ref/0)
KERRY SAYS PUTIN SPEECH “DIDN’T JIBE WITH REALITY” (YouTube reality?)
UKRAINE MAY SEEK COMPENSATION FOR CRIMEA ASSETS: PETRENKO (we don’t recognize it unless you pay us?)
MERKEL SAYS NO CHANGE IN RUSSIA G-8 STATUS FOR NOW (nope, they’d have to really cross the red line)
RUSSIA FELT ROBBED BY BREAKUP OF SOVIET UNION, PUTIN SAYS (uh oh)
CYPRUS OPPOSES MORE SANCTIONS ON RUSSIA: FOR’N MINISTER (RIK) (just capital controls is good)
SUGA: WILL DEAL APPROPRIATELY WITH PUTIN’S PLANNED JAPAN VISIT (umm what?)
PUTIN: RUSSIA WILL NEVER SEEK CONFRONTATIONS IN WEST, EAST (fingers crossed?)
JAPAN HALTS TALKS WITH RUSSIA ON VISA ISSUANCE (and nobody cared)
WHITE HOUSE CARNEY “I WOULDN’T IF I WERE YOU” INVEST IN RUSSIA (what do you think of TWTR?)
JAPAN DISPLAY STARTS TRADING 15% BELOW IPO PRICE IN TOKYO (shoulda IPO’d in USA)
VIETNAM DELAYS SOME BAD DEBT CLASSIFICATION UNTIL APRIL 2015 (will all be fixed by then)