School Forbids Students from Touching Snow

Giving new meaning to the “snowflake” generation, a headmaster in Britain has forbidden all 1,500 of his students from even touching snow.

Ges Smith is the headmaster of the Jo Richardson Community School in Dagenham, East London, and where others see fluffy white flakes of winter wonder, he sees the wide and icy path to hell.

“It only takes one student, one piece of grit, one stone in a snowball in an eye, with an injury and we change our view,” he said.

His concern seemed to be that snowflakes are the gateway drug to snowballs. “The rules are don’t touch the snow. If you don’t touch the snow you’re not going to throw it.”

You’re also not going to taste it, make a snowman or fort, or have any fun at all.

On the talk show Good Morning Britain, host Susanna Reid pushed back, saying, “It’s only a bit of fun, let us throw a snowball,” according to The Telegraph.

“If it was that simple, I’d let them throw snowballs all day long,” the headmaster cryptically replied.

But it is that simple. In fact, it’s simpler: You can let the kids touch the snow and not throw snowballs.

Note that snowballs weren’t the only problem dancing in the headmaster’s head. He also doesn’t want kids to get wet, as that would make them unprepared for school. As to whether they will be unprepared for life, well… hopefully the kids will have an opportunity to touch the substance at some point in their childhood.