London Park Faces “Human Excrement” Problem After Refusing To Install Toilets

There’s nothing like helping along a good old fashioned health crisis by having people sh*t wherever they want publicly.

The city of Tooting, in London, has been the latest to join the long line of municipalities who are likely doing more harm than good with their Covid restrictions. They have no portable toilets in their town’s common area which has resulted in “an ‘increasingly serious problem of human excrement’, particularly in wooded areas,” according to the Metro UK. 

The problem has gotten so bad, the Friends of Tooting Common group have written to their local council to complain. They are demanding toilets “to avoid unsanitary and inappropriate use of bushes and wooded areas” and have encouraged their local council to provide “clear signage” toward the toilets.

As lockdown measures ease, more people are spending longer areas in the park, “potentially spending the day drinking”, the report says. 

Local Resident Jasmine Dahl told the Metro: “There’s nothing worse than seeing humans’ bodily functions.”

She continued: “I live by Clapham Common and I must see about 10 willies a year with people peeing by trees. Without Portaloos there can be long stretches where there are no loos at all and people are funny about using toilets in shops even more because of the pandemic.”

A council spokesperson responded: “There is no excuse whatsoever for people to treat the common in this way. There are toilets at the café and we are assessing ways in which we can increase provision on the common including the use of temporary Portaloos.”