Happy Fourth! …Unless You Live in a State With Firework Bans

Tomorrow’s the big day in the U.S. of A, and what
better way to celebrate our independence than with some real
firepower? That’s probably what one unnamed, entrepreneurial
77-year-old Cleveland resident thought. Unfortunately for him, he
lives in a state that essentially bans the detonation of anything
stronger than a sparkler, and now he may be facing felony
charges.

The Plain Dealer
reported yesterday:

A citizen tipped off police that the Cleveland man … was
illegally selling fireworks. Detectives bought two boxes of
assorted fireworks for $100 from the Cleveland man. After the
purchase, the man told the undercover officers he could get
them bigger fireworks, [Second District Commander Thomas] Stacho
said.

Detectives followed him to the 8700 block of Pleasant Valley
Road in Parma, Stacho said. He opened the garage to what looked
like a store, shelves lined with hundreds of fireworks, ranging
from small firecrackers and sparklers to professional grade
explosives and H-100 firecrackers. …

Police and prosecutors are taking the cases against the
[77-year-old and another man] to a Cuyahoga County Grand Jury and
are seeking a felony indictment. The men have not been arrested or
charged.

His loot added up to about $100,000 worth of fun. Now the cops
will have the pleasure of “detonat[ing] the confiscated fireworks
in a large hole in an undisclosed location.”

While Cleveland police officers like Stacho pat themselves on
the back for staging “one of the largest fireworks seizures any one
of us are aware of or remember in the city,” it’s worth reflecting
on the situation’s absurdity: a senior citizen could face
prison time for conducting business that less than two hours’
drive away across the Pennsylvania border wouldn’t warrant a
written citation (albeit, with the proper licensing).

Ohioans aren’t the only ones burdened by such prohibitions.
The Washington Post
highlights the fact that “roughly 1 in 9 Americans lives in a
state that bans all consumer fireworks.” Those would be Delaware,
Massachusetts, New Jersey and New York. Additionally, “five states
— Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Ohio and Vermont — allow only sparklers
and/or novelty fireworks. And Arizona allows only novelty
fireworks.”

I’d say it’s unfortunate for residents of those states, but
having participated in many such fireworks displays, I know it’s
all the more titillating to celebrate Independence Day in direct
defiance of bad laws.