Just when you thought fake teen drug scares
couldn’t get any stupider, Ohio local news brings us
beezin, in which kids rub Burt’s Bees lip balm on their
eyelids.
“A new trend among teens may be concerning to parents,”
warns Newsnet5 Cleveland, with a blatant disregard for both
research and grammar.
Most people think of Burt’s Bees lip balm as just that—lip balm,
but experts say teens have found a new use for it.A new viral trend called “beezin” is apparently making the
rounds. “Beezin” is when a person applies a light layer of
Burt’s Bees natural lip balm wax on their eyelids.
News accounts can’t decide whether the tingle of menthol on
delicate tissues is a pleasant complement to being buzzed—”Some who
do ‘beezin’ said it adds to the experience of being drunk or
high”—or a standalone activity—”others said it helps to keep them
alert.”
If I had to guess, I’d say beezin is probably most popular at
rainbow parties after drinking hand sanitizer and butt-chugging
some vodka. But that’s just speculation, so I’d better not
publish it in a respected news source, right?
Let’s suspend disbelief for a second and imagine this trend is
actually real. What then? Will our nation’s teens be ruined? Will
the Russians beat us to space? Let’s
go to the experts:
“The peppermint oil in the lip balm is a very strong irritant
and can cause inflammation in the eye redness of the eye
swelling,” Dr. Brett Cauthen told WNWO’s sister
station KOKH
in Oklahoma City.The eye is one of the most sensitive parts of the body and
‘Beezin’ could cause pink eye-like symptoms.
Temporarily puffy eyes? Nooooooooo!
Just to make sure we hit all the components of the classic teen
scare story, let’s throw in some social media fearmongering, shall
we?
There’s no way on god’s earth the [VIDEO] mentioned in that hed
was produced sincerely (if you watch to the end, the makers
actually note that it’s a parody), but that has not stopped news
outlets from linking to this masterpiece with sincere alarm:
from Hit & Run http://ift.tt/1pyp5RQ
via IFTTT