“What Will It Cost?”: Hedge Fund CIO Explains What Is Troubling The World’s Richest Men

Submitted by Eric Peters, CIO of One River Asset Management

“American politicians lack ambition. Buy them for pennies. Blind them with billions. But the game is for trillions,” whispered the world’s richest man, staring out the window enroute to Buenos Aires. “To the owner of Russia, what’s a $50mm penthouse?” continued Putin, the Atlantic curving below, beautiful blue. “But such an offer from an American candidate and his children is an extraordinary gift,” laughed Vladimir, pleased to finally have an opponent fluent in the language of mutual benefit.

“I’m weeks from putting this mess all behind,” mumbled Mohammed bin Salman, daydreaming, alone in his Dreamliner. “All it cost me was delivering the Trump organization a $10 drop in oil,” continued the world’s richest Arab, his stock market still outpacing the S&P 500 this year.

What must I pay?” wondered Asia’s richest man, jetting to G20, ready to sign something, but unable to tally the bill. “Do the American’s even want a deal?” continued Xi Jinping, resigned to an expensive war.

“It cost me next to nothing,” sighed President AMLO in deep relief. His Mexican-made autos rolled north, the caravan returned south. “Never have so few impoverished Hondurans held such value,” marveled AMLO, his cooperation in the timely election hysteria ingratiating him to America’s administration.

“Which is Air Force One?” wondered Powell, looking up, contrails crisscrossing Washington. “Never seen so many damn planes,” grumbled the Fed Chairman, breaking into renewed sweat, the unnatural economic heat inescapable. “What will this cost?” wondered Powell. You see, no Fed Chairman is independent, and the price of protecting his institution in this era of transactional politics is that Jay had to slow his rate hikes.

“No way they dare impeach with my economy this hot,” whispered Trump, repeating the mantra, reassuring himself, Air Force One southbound. “Low rates, low oil, every world leader frightened, unsteady, transacting, paying me. No way they impeach. No way. Not possible. No way.”

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