Donald Trump Presents: ‘Plotting Lovebirds’ And The Search For ‘Loser’ Hunter Biden

President Trump delivered a fiery performance in Minnesota on Thursday night, where he pulled few punches laying into his political opponents. After a brief warmup, Trump kicked things off by reminding the crowd he’s still the outsider in DC – who’s now being attacked with a “phony” Democrat narrative which has formed the basis of a House impeachment inquiry.

“Our bold pursuit of this pro-America agenda has enraged the failed ruling class in Washington,” said Trump, adding “not easy to get ’em out but we’re doing it slowly but surely.”

“These corrupt politicians and the radical leftists got rich bleeding America dry, and they knew that my election would finally end their pillaging and looting of our country. And that’s what they were doing. And that’s what they continue to try and do.”

Trump then proclaimed “from day one, the wretched Washington swamp has been trying to nullify the results of a truly great and democratic election – the election of 2016. They’re trying, but they’re not getting very far. They want to erase your vote like it never existed. They want to erase your voice. And they want to erase your future.” 

Trump then did a dramatic recreation of FBI ‘lovebirds’ Peter Strzok and Lisa Page discussing how they were going to bring Trump down.

The two high-ranking FBI officials were busted exchanging anti-Trump / pro-Clinton text messages while investigating both Trump and Clinton. 

“Remember he and his lover Lisa Page,” Trump said, before mocking the pair. 

“Oh I love you so much. I love you, Peter! I love you too Lisa! Lisa, I love you. Lisa, Lisa, Oh God, I love you, Lisa.

“And if [Hillary Clinton] doesn’t win, Lisa, we’ve got an insurance policy, Lisa! We’ll get that son of a bitch out.”

Trump then turned to ‘crooked’ Adam Schiff (D-CA), who “had to make up a fake conversation that never happened” about Trump’s phone call with Ukrainan President Volodomyr Zelensky, after the White House released a transcript of the call which proved that Trump asked – not pressured, Ukraine to look into corruption allegations against Joe and Hunter Biden. Trump then tore into House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) for insisting Schiff was using Trump’s own words. 

“These people are sick,” Trump said of the Democrats. “I’m telling you. Had they waited one day longer, they would have had the actual transcript of the call. Instead, they went early. You know why? Because they never thought in a million years that I was going to release a transcript of the call”

“So Nancy Pelosi upon hearing a false story from a whistleblower that has no clue what was going on in that call – or somebody gave her very bad advice – but also hearing it from ‘shifty’ Schiff. Nancy Pelosi said a day before seeing a transcript of the call with the Ukrainian President “WE’VE GOT TO IMPEACH HIM!” 

And then she saw the call and she said to her people “what the hell? Nobody ever told me this was the call!” 

Then, after calling polls crooked ‘like the media,’ Trump tore into Joe and Hunter Biden – calling the former Vice President “totally owned, and totally controlled by the Washington swamp for many years.” 

“Two months after President Obama put Joe in charge of Ukraine policy – he put Joe Biden in charge of Ukraine policy (and the press will not write it) … Joe’s son Hunter got thrown out of the Navy and then he became a genius on Wall Street in about two days.” 

“By the way, what ever happened to Hunter? Where the hell is he?” Trump asked, before pitching an idea for a ‘Where’s Hunter’ T-shirt (which is now for sale at the official Trump campaign website). 

“Hunter, you know nothing about energy, you know nothing about China, you know nothing about anything, frankly. Hunter, you’re a loser. Why did you get $1.5 billion dollars Hunter?“

Then, as if speaking to to Hunter, Trump said: “Your father was never considered smart … He was never considered a good senator. He was only a good vice president because he understood how to kiss Barack Obama’s ass.“

“The Bidens got rich, and America got robbed,” Trump added. 

Hunter Biden served on the board of Ukraine’s largest private gas company, Burisma, for nearly five years. While Hunter’s position raised eyebrows at the time, controversy erupted earlier this year after footage emerged of Joe Biden bragging about threatening the President of Ukraine by withholding $1 billion in US loan guarantees if he didn’t fire the country’s lead investigator, Victor Shokin, who was leading an inquiry into Burisma at the time. 

Trump also laid into Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN), who represents the Minneapolis district in which the rally was held – telling the crowd “Leaders in Washington brought large numbers of refugees to your state from Somalia without considering the impact on schools and communities and taxpayers,” adding “Congresswoman Omar is an America-hating socialist.”