Dystopian Toilet Adds Raging Quad Pain For Employees Taking ‘Netflix And Poo’ Breaks

For those who deal with the occasional stubborn poop, a new startup’s toilet design will add a new level of difficulty to that prize-fight; your quads will be on fire.

Designed by UK-based StandardToilet, the new ‘throne’, tilted at a 13-degree angle, supposedly provides a myriad of health benefits – while encouraging employees to abandon the occasional ‘Netflix and poo’ break do to the fact that it becomes uncomfortable to sit on after just five minutes of use.

BREAKING NEWS: Say goodbye to comfort breaks! New downward-tilting toilets are designed to become unbearable to sit on after five minutes. They say the main benefit is to employees in improved employee productivity. pic.twitter.com/lfDbeXJdCX

— Dave Vescio (@DaveVescio) December 17, 2019

The dystopian toilet, approved by the British Toilet Association (BTA), was inspired by “a series of annoyances,” according to StandardToilet founder Mahabir Gill – who says he discovered that over four decades as a consulting engineer, he became increasingly annoyed by long waits to use the toilet – discovering that some co-workers were sleeping on the pot, according to Wired.

“Its main benefit is to the employers, not the employees,” Gill told the outlet, adding “It saves the employer money.”

The fight to clampdown on toilet time has begun, it seems. After all, the alternative toilet market is booming. Japanese-style toilets are finally breaking into Western markets, and products like the Squatty Potty are offering us revolutionary new ways to sit on the toilet. Waterless compost toilets are catering to eco-conscious poopers, while others believe the future is rimless. But, is policing your pooing a step too far?

The StandardToilet was given public backing by BTA in November and retails between £150 and £500, and Gill is already in talks with several local councils and major motorway service stations to distribute his product, and believes their market extends to train stations, pubs, shopping malls and offices. –Wired

That said, according to the report a July survey realized that London workers spend nearly 30 minutes taking a shit.