“MILFs In Quarantine” – Coronavirus Porn Sweeps America 

The next big trend in porn is Coronavirus-themed videos. Porn sites across the internet have seen an influx of uploads with amateurs banging in bio hazmat suits and or just simply in masks. 

Over the last month, Pornhub has seen 115 Coronavirus-themed videos uploaded by wannabe porn stars, otherwise known as amateurs. 

There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for the surge of Coronavirus-themed porn videos, that is, because these amateurs depend on ad revenue to make money, and the only way to survive and generate clicks is to stay super relevant with current events, such as making porn videos about a pandemic that could wipe out the human race. 

One of the oddest videos Vice ran across is titled “Bodycam Footage (CDC Agent) Investigates Deserted Wuhan,” features a first-person point of view of a hospital worker stumbling around in the dark, uncovers a creepy hospital patient, and that’s the moment where we will stop describing what happens next… 

Here’s a PG-rated version of the creepy Coronavirus-themed porn video: 

xHamster spokesperson Alex Hawkin told Vice that Coronavirus-themed porn videos have been surging after it provided free premium accounts to regions affected by the virus. 

Another video Vice viewed is titled “COVID-19 Coronavirus: Horny Slut Has to Use Protection During Outbreak!” where amateur pornstar “Chase Poundher” emerges from the hallway wearing a face mask and tells a female performer entering the house, “Wait, don’t you move a foot closer. Haven’t you heard of COVID-19?” Mr. Poundher then lectures her for one minute about the virus, the outbreak in China, and mask safety. 

“I think people are attracted to COVID-19 themed porn the same way people who are scared of their shadow are attached to horror movies: We are all searching for things that make us come alive,” Mr. Poundher, told Vice. “COVID-19 is something that brings fear and mystery to pretty much everyone in the world right now… You need to be able to feel something, and what better way to make you feel something than the global crisis we are all in right now.”

Other COVID-19 themed porn videos have surfaced on the internet in the last week, including “MILFs in quarantine,” “Face Sitting Corona Virus – No Mask,” and “TSA Agent Detains Woman Suspected of Coronavirus.” 

“We knew that the corona event was ‘good viral material,’ but we also knew it was affecting people in tragic ways,” Mr. Poundher said. “We didn’t want to insult them by making it too real. We personally know people actually stuck in Wuhan and made it with them in mind.” They asked themselves: Would they be offended by this? Or would this take their minds off their situation? “We want the latter.”

The search term “Coronavirus porn” is in a breakout pattern across the US.

Americans are increasingly embracing pandemic doom porn as confirmed cases and deaths surge across the country. Seriously, WTF.