Note To Rioting Americans: Why Looting A Rolex Store Isn’t Such A Great Idea

As SJW blue-checks pressure Twitter to ban anonymous accounts (a trend that was set in motion long ago, and accelerated with the permanent suspension of @Zerohedge a few months back), the ever-witty @TESLACharts is a perfect example of what financial twitter would lose if financial professionals behind some of the space’s most widely-followed and respected accounts were forced to give up the medium due, in many cases, to the onerous compliance restrictions of their employers. A few weeks back, we shared a thread published by the account detailing why investors ought to steer clear of biotech darling Moderna (which is down ~$20 a share from the peak reached during the week before last), and now we’re sharing the account’s advice for rioting Americans finally deciding to take some initiative and do something to correct all this terrible “income inequality” they’ve been complaining about since Nov. 9, 2016.

When looting on Fifth Ave., “protesters” might want to skip over the Rolex outlet.

1/ A brief thread on why looting a Rolex store isn’t such a lucrative thing to do. https://t.co/08D07zZLoR

— TeslaCharts (@TESLAcharts) June 1, 2020

Intuitively, luxury goods should seem like a smart target for criminals since they retain their resale value so well, and because that value can be extremely high (when compared with staples or basic discretionary goods). However, that there are a few practical caveats that looters should consider before trying to muscle their way to a brand new submariner.

2/ Rolex watches are expensive and highly coveted by all manner of collectors, enthusiasts, and shady moneyed types around the world. On its face, this would make looting a Rolex store seem smart. It isn’t.

— TeslaCharts (@TESLAcharts) June 1, 2020

4/ Rolex wouldn’t be Rolex if they hadn’t already solved this problem. First, every Rolex watch has a unique serial number. On most modern pieces, it can be found inside the case near the 6 o’clock position. Here’s a partial serial number on my Explorer II. pic.twitter.com/HzciEkdTsC

— TeslaCharts (@TESLAcharts) June 1, 2020

5/ Also, when you purchase a new Rolex it comes with box and papers – documents and other proof of authentication. Here’s a listing for a Rolex Submariner Hulk on Chrono24. While used watches are sometimes sold without these accessories, most collectors insist on having them. pic.twitter.com/2aBX4WUbXi

— TeslaCharts (@TESLAcharts) June 1, 2020

6/ Rolex keeps a sophisticated worldwide database of every watch it makes. Each watch stolen yesterday will be flagged as such. Rolex, their approved dealers, and even secondary players will be highly motivated identify and remove these watches from circulation.

— TeslaCharts (@TESLAcharts) June 1, 2020

7/ How will this work? The looters stole brand new watches without box and papers. When they go to sell these watches, a buyer will want to authenticate it as real. They’ll take it to a dealer, who will run the serial number and confiscate the watch.

— TeslaCharts (@TESLAcharts) June 1, 2020

8/ That’s right. The dealer will TAKE THE WATCH and report the stolen goods to the police. Same thing with every pawn shop. Even if you innocently bought the watch from the original thief, you are out of luck. The moment a dealer touches hot goods, they will act.

— TeslaCharts (@TESLAcharts) June 1, 2020

The same is true for Apple laptops and other Apple products, as well as most other pricey electronics (with the exception of televisions and a few other items).

So, what’s an amateur looter to do? Well, they can start by listening on.