Art Cashin Poetically Laments Bitcoins, Binge-Viewing, Boston, Baltimore, And Bargaining Brokers

“Twas the days before Christmas, and all across the street, not a human was trading…” but, as tradition demands, UBS’ venerable director floor operations – Art Cashin – unleashes his annual poem. Summing up the year in amazing alliteration, Cashin takes on Bitcoins, The Fed, the Volcker Rule, and… Anthony Weiner.


Via Art Cashin,



‘Tis two days before Christmas

and at each brokerage house

The only thing stirring

was the click of a mouse


Down on the Exchange

the tape inches along

Brokers bargained and traded

as they hummed an old song


The Fed kept on printing

yet few jobs did appear

But it’s time to move on

so they’ll taper next year


Boston won the World Series

Baltimore took the Bowl

But Tiger still struggles

to get the ball in the hole


From Bitcoins to Binge-viewing

brand new things did occur

And the Prez took a selfie

that caused quite a stir


There was a government shutdown

most folks called it a sham

And to slow down the Senate

a guy read “Green Eggs and Ham”


In Cleveland three women

finally freed of their fears

Held captive by a mad man

for nearly ten years


The Pope said he resigned

an occurrence quite rare

A new Pope named Francis

new sits in that chair


Back tried Spitzer and Weiner

they brought little to cheer

But it’s Christmastime, Alice

and Santa is near


So stop looking backwards

have a cup of good cheer

And kiss you a loved one

raise your hopes for next year


And amidst all the trading

Christmas themes we will heed

And share our good fortune

with families in need


And tomorrow they’ll pause

as we wait on the bell

To sing a tradition

a song for old “Nell”


Don’t let this year’s problems

impede Christmas Cheer

Resolve to be happy

throughout the New Year


And resist ye Grinch feelings

let joy never stop

Put the bad at the bottom

keep the good on the top


So count up your blessings

along with your worth

You’re still living here

in the best place on earth


And think ye of wonders

that light children’s eyes

And hope Santa will bring you

that Christmas surprise


So play ye a carol

by Mario Lanza

Unless you are waiting

to celebrate Kwanzaa


Hanukkah’s over

And Ramadan’s gone

Different folks, different holidays

yet each spirit lives on


Whatever your feast is

we hope you all still

Find yourself just surrounded

by folks of goodwill


Tuesday, as the bell rings

hark to your heart’s call

And as Santa would shout

Merry Christmas to All!


via Zero Hedge Tyler Durden

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