Rabobank: Tangled Up In EU

Submitted by Michael Every of Rabobank

Rather than discuss Chinese tanks exercising near the Indian border, or Iranian missiles, or the ‘You lied/No, you lied’ details of Bolton’s book, or the latest US virus numbers, or the relatively inconsequential ebb and flow of markets over the last 24 hours –and perhaps just because it’s a sunny June Friday– I would rather address the long-running Brexit issue for once.

There has been some good news on that front this week, it would seem, with blinking perhaps being done. Or perhaps not. We shall soon see. Regardless, let’s look at the issue in song. Apologies to Bob Dylan (and commiserations to those who don’t know the original, classic Tangled Up in Blue).

Tangled Up in EU

Early one mornin’ Mr BoJo risin’; with Von der Leyen’s in charge instead

Wondrin’ if the EU’d changed at all; If it’s budget was still in the red

Folks they said their lives together; Sure was gonna be rough

They never did like; Junker’s policies; Their offer wasn’t big enough

And BoJo was standin’ on the side of the union; Rain fallin’ on his shoes

Heading out for the US east coast; Lord knows he’d paid no dues

Gettin’ through; Tangled up in EU

EU wasn’t a marriage when they first met; It was all free trade, of course

UK liked the better-quality jam, I guess; And they liked his military force

They drove that car as far as they could; Abandoned it out west

Split up on a dark sad night; Not agreeing it was best

EU turned around to look at him; As he was walkin’ away

Heard them say over his shoulder; We’ll meet again some day

On the free trade avenue; Tangled up in EU

BoJo never had no job in the no powerhouse; Worked as a journo for a spell

But he never did like it all that much; And one day the axe just fell

So he drifted down to Westminster; Where he was looking for to be employed

Workin’ on thoughts of fishin’ boats; and fishin’ rights to be enjoyed

But all the while he was alone; The past was close behind

He saw a lot of trade deals come and go; But the EU never ‘scaped his mind

And he just grew; Tangled up in EU

EU was workin’ on a tariff-free place; The UK stopped in to cheer

Brits kept lookin’ at the sovereignty stuff; In the spotlight all so clear

And later on as the crowd thicked out; Brits didn’t want to do the same

EU was standing there in back of their chair; Sayin’, ‘Don’t you wanna Remain’?

BoJo muttered somethin’ under his breath; EU studied the lines on his face

He must admit he felt a little uneasy; he’d be in a bad, hard place

With no lorries getting through; Tangled up in EU

EU threw some more QE on the stove; But offered no FTA

I thought you’d never leave, she said; Though you aren’t the type to stay

Then she opened up a book of accounts; And handed it to see

Written by an Italian banker; From the present century

And very few of them digits rang true; Or glowed like burnin’ coal

Pourin’ off of every page; Like it was written in his soul

So BoJo said ‘Boo!’…to being; Tangled up in EU

He lived with them in Downing Street; In a basement down the stairs

There was music in the cafés at night; And revolution in the air

Then he started into dealing with others’ free trade; As something inside of EU died

EU wanted him to change everything he owned; and keep the ECJ inside

And when finally the bottom fell out; BoJo became withdrawn

The only thing he knew how to do; Was to keep on keepin’ on

Like a bird that flew; Tangled up in EU

So now he’s not goin’ back again; He got to get to somewhere somehow

All the people he used to know; They’re an illusion to him now

Some are Oxford mathematicians; Some are carpenters’ wives

Don’t know how it all got started; Don’t know what they’re doin’ with their lives

But, well, the UK’s still on the road; Headin’ for another joint

We never really felt the same; Always saw it from a different point of view

Tangled up in EU